Sunday, 1 April 2012

Bye bye baby

G&T - 28 months    M - 6 months

A poop in a potty! A poop in a potty! I swore when such a thing occurred, I would resist the urge to turn into a cliched shrieking mum, but I couldn't help it. As G leapt up and she and T stared at the neat little package in wonder, I was overcome with pride and delight. My clever little girl! G herself was more shocked than anything else. Whether it was the surprise of seeing this strange thing emerge from her, or my alarming exultation, I don't know, but she burst into tears. A lot of praise and cuddles helped her calm down, but a funny thing happened. That evening, as I delightedly relayed every detail to her daddy, I found myself welling up too. With pride yes, but also a little sadness. My baby is growing up. And she isn't the only one. I've just started little M on solids, and boy does she love them. Baby rice smeared everywhere, happily sucking on peppers and rice cakes, she loves being in her high chair, one of the girls with her sisters. She's also just managed to sit up all on her own, and I welled again as I watched her wobbly attempts to join in her sisters' game. I'm now deciding when to wean her off breastfeeding on to bottles, perhaps soon after her imminent move into her sisters' room. It's all changing. She's my baby, the last I'll ever have. I love her sleeping in her cot next to me, being able to just glance across and see her peaceful little face. When I hold her, I love the way she snuggles into me, favouring my cuddles above all others. But truth be told, I've already been relegated to third place in her estimation, behind her ever-entertaining sisters. And it's only a matter of time before I drop down to fourth, when she starts to appreciate, like her sisters before her, the fun-filled, treat-wielding wonder that is Daddy. But I guess that's a full-time mum's lot. Ever-present so a little less sparkly. Always being distracted from games by boring things like cooking or cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to become one of those women who just keep having children so they always have a baby to cling to them. I'm done. But saying that with such finality does make me a little wistful. I spent a lot of my life imagining having a baby, but I guess now my babies are growing up, I have to as well. I've got a different life to look forward to. The first days at school, losing those first teeth, the first bike, the first boyfriend, the first broken heart (though those last two will only happen when the girls are 40 if Daddy has his way...). A world of firsts just waiting round the corner, and I can't wait. Well, actually, I can wait, just for a while. I'll be a mum of babies for a little longer yet, and I'll love every nappy-filled second.