Monday 25 March 2013

Slow down!

I just can't get over the fact that just under 18 months ago, I arrived home with a squidgy, wrinkly bundle of toes and fingers. Little M never actually seemed that little to me - she was born a chubby 7lb8oz, while her sisters had been only 6lb1 and 5lb4 - but she was still my little baby. Helpless, clingy, unformed. With two not-quite-2-year-olds, I had a living demonstration of how quickly that would change. How quickly she would become real. A fully-formed person. How soon she would be her. But as I spent a gooey few minutes looking through old pictures recently, I still couldn't quite grasp that that tiny little baby was the cheeky, boisterous, stubborn toddler I enjoy (or at least endure) today.
Brand new!

When I was first pregnant with the twins, so many mums gave me the same piece of advice: 'Enjoy them while they're tiny.' But I found that a really hard thing to do. Of course, I loved them and was overjoyed to finally be a mother, but it was hard. Bloody hard. They fed all the time, wouldn't be put down, left me sore in all the wrong places... And I couldn't see an end. Of course, you know, logically, that there is an end. They will start to smile, to laugh, to crawl, to walk, to talk... But in those early days, those early exhausting days, it all seemed so far off. So theoretical. 
With M, it was different. I'd done it all before. I knew what this baby would become, and instead of wishing away every day, hoping for the next thing that would make it easier, I reveled in it. I loved having a baby again. Of course, it helped that there was only of her, but I was also just a better mum. Feeding, which had been a battle with the twins (well, one twin. G would cling on to her side, no matter what her sister was doing on the other one!) was a breeze. I was so much more relaxed, and M was a dream feeder. I really appreciated the helpless phase. If I put her somewhere, she stayed there. Having two hyper toddlers around would make anyone appreciate that. I wasn't watching for every milestone, every sign I was doing something right. I just drank in every moment of her babyhood.
As it turned out, she chalked up the milestones even quicker than her sisters had. Sitting up alone by six months, crawling at eight, walking at ten, talking before she was 1... It seems despite my newfound love of the baby days, M was on a mission to be a toddler. Now, at nearly 18 months, her language continues to shock me.
'Let's go, Mummy,' she said earlier, grabbing my hand. 'Giraffe sitting in Daddy's chair.'
I followed her through to see she had indeed placed her favourite giraffe on her father's computer chair. She knows what she wants and she's got the language to tell me. I think having two big sisters chatting away all her life helped her learn to speak so early. Or perhaps she was just trying to get a word in. Whatever the reason, what's obvious when she happily sings every word of Twinkle Twinkle while building a tower of blocks is that she's a baby no more. Even as I tried to hold on to it, her tininess slipped away. I love everything she's become, but I can't believe it happened so fast. Will this just keep happening now? Will I blink and find they're all at school? Taking their exams? Going off to Uni? Getting married? When will their lives slow down? I want to make sure I don't miss them!

She's grown up so fast!

17 comments:

  1. aw shes lovely, people used to say "it goes so quick" and i hoped they were right cos it was such hard work!! but i do miss my little babies... enjoying your blog as always :)

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    1. That's so true - you just wish away the hard work, then suddenly realise it was actually wonderful and you missed it!!
      Thanks for reading:)

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  2. What a lovely post - it's so true. I'm wondering what happened to my baby... she's only 16 months, but completely unrecognisable from the tiny squiggle we brought home from hospital! Popping over from #PoCoLo

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    1. 16 months is a fabulous age - but it is shocking how different they are from our tiny newborns! Guess we just have to hold on and see where this ride takes us next! Thanks for reading x

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  3. Lovely post, My son is just over the 3 years now and I feels like the time has just flown by, my baby is a proper little boy now. Found you through #PoCoLo

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    1. The twins are just over 3, and seeing photos of them as babies is even more bizarre! How are they the same people?? Thanks so much for visiting x

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  4. Lovely post and it sounds so familiar to me! I found my first extremely hard work (thankfully I didn't have twins to contend with!). With my second I thought time would go much slower and I would savour every second. She is however growing so quickly - not quite 6 months she is sitting and has such a strong little personality already. Little M is gorgeous, you must be very proud x

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    1. Thank you. Sometimes can't believe how gorgeous they all are - must have got it from their father! I think no first-time mum manages to enjoy the early days - but it's great to have a second chance x

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  5. What a lovely post. It's true that that they do grow up so fast no matter how hard you true to hang on! And I bet it's even harder when you have two already who have got bigger. Thank you so much for linking up to PoCoLo :) xx

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    1. Really enjoying exploring some new blogs, so thank you! Guess we just have to enjoy the present, before it's gone!

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  6. Lovely words, they are babies for such a precious short time. I was far more relaxed with my daughter than with her brother before. I found it completely different and more enjoyable the second time around. But yes - that seems to make it go even faster!!

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    1. That's exactly it! You remember to enjoy it second time, but then it just vanishes!! I'd give it another go, if it didn't mean having four children in my hands...

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  7. time flys by! i dont know where goes x

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  8. I was exactly the same, wishing away the time with my first, so desperate to get to the next stage. Then my second came along and all I do is wish time would slow down! It really does go so quickly, but this is the best age of all and I want to press pause and just enjoy it forever. I guess we just have to keep enjoying the moments as we have them (and blog about them to make them last that little bit longer!). #PoCoLo

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    1. It would be lovely to press pause, wouldn't it? I do love the toddler phase too, and actually the twins are so much fun at 3. Maybe every age is going to be fun, so I shouldn't worry! Not really looking forward to the teens though... x

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  9. I am so pleased you linked up with this post i do love this one! Thanks for linking up with #magicmoments xxx

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